*This is a late blog, so I'm back-dating it to 03/06/10.*
My 6 year anniversary was on March 6, 2010. How in the world did that happen!!??!! :) Time has flown by really quickly and I can't believe I've now been married for 6 years. :)
Hubby had his finals week during our anniversary, so we didn't go out or anything. That was completely fine with me as his studies are important. However, the next night, he made me these awesome cupcakes!
Although it didn't go well with my "trying to eat better", I absolutely loved them and the thought behind them. They were really very good (red velvet with vanilla icing), and a very worth it treat, in my opinion. :)
Carrie Underwood is such a talented singer - I was happy for her when she won American Idol, and it seems that America made a really good choice that year.
I recently heard her new song, Temporary Home. Here's a link to the "Story Behind the Lyrics". The song made me cry - especially the ending because I've been there. The ending really hit home to me and reminded me of the heartache I felt each time I lost someone I loved. It was hard - and sometimes still is hard - but there is still joy in my heart for those who I know are now in Heaven. As a Christian, I have no doubt that I will see them when my time comes. This world IS only temporary. Because I have chosen to be a Christian and I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, this world is no longer my home. I live here because I have to, but my eternity will be spent in Heaven. Because of my choice, I don't fit in. I don't belong here, and because of my faith, I am not always accepted. I'm ok with that. I only have to please my Jesus - and no one else. I am responsible for me - and responsible for listening to Him and what He has and wants for me.
19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. (John 15:19, New King James Version)
This song is a reminder to me that this home is only temporary. So whatever happens to come my way, with Jesus I can handle it - and one day I won't have to anymore. I'm not anxious at all for that day to come - but it will be a joyful day when it does.
Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood
Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to bein' alone
Another new mom and dad,another school
Another house that'll never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face
"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."
Young mom on her own
She needs a little help got nowhere to go
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out
Because a half-way house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find a place here in this world
"This is our temporary home
It's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know this is our
Temporary Home."
Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers don't cry for me
I'll see you all someday
He looks up and says "I can see God's face."
"This is my temporary Home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going
Ok so yeah, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this thing! I decided to make my purchase on Ebay - and realized after the fact that I'd been jipped. However, I wanted to test it out completely before trying to send it back, and below are the results. Take note, though - if you do order one of these things, just give in to the extra money in order to get one that's legit. This one on Ebay that I thought was legit would heat up, then wouldn't turn. I'd have to unplug it and then plug it back in to get it to work, then after a minute or so, it would stop working again. Also, the power settings wouldn't work - so it stayed stuck on the highest setting (which is what I needed anyway, but still). So yeah - go to the actual company if you get one of these things. Really cool product!!!!! :) I'm definitely going to get the real thing when I'm able to.
The first picture shows the difference between how my hair is normally and after I used the InStyler. Take note that for both sides....my hair IS brushed. I had no idea how long my hair really is! And, with it straight, it looks so much healthier.
Here is the front after I straightened all my hair. I need to go get it styled now, probably in layers, but you get the idea.
We went to our Christmas Eve service tonight (thankfully they had a service the day before Christmas Eve since we'll be out of town), and this is one of the songs they sang during the service. It's talking about how Jesus chose to come as a baby rather than any other way that He could have chosen. He came to us as an innocent, helpless, little baby - showing us that He came in peace, not wanting to come by force. His life was in our hands for the entire time that He was a child - the hands of the world who, for some, choose to not recognize Him as the Savior He is. He is so different than any other 'self proclaimed' Messiah - He IS the only Messiah and Lord.
My prayer is that if you do not know Him, that one day you will choose to sit back and listen. He does not want to take your heart by force. He gives you the option to accept Him - or not. Do whatever research you feel you need to do. In the end, I pray that you will see what all He stands for and what all He came here for - in a nutshell, He came here for us. He came knowing he would die, but He came anyway. He knew that people would reject Him, call Him names, spit on Him, and nail Him to a cross......yet He still came - as that so innocent little baby.
Here is a link to the pictures I took while in Colorado. I actually thought I took more than I did, and I meant to get more of the kids. Oh well - another time, I suppose. :)
So here I am at Jenny's house in Woodland Park, Colorado. Sunni and I arrived here yesterday afternoon, and boy has it been COLD! But, I absolutely love it - I'm thinking of moving somewhere here now, don't you know? :) Just kidding - but yeah, I think I would't mind if the opportunity ever presented itself. We are 8465 feet above sea level, so walking down to her basement room or up to her second floor really takes the wind out of me! I think I may finally be getting the hang of it, but wow, it's crazy how altitude can do that to you!
I've taken a few pictures and will take more during the duration of my stay - I will leave to go home on Sunday. I'll post those pictures in another blog, but I have to say that the view everywhere in this city is so pretty. Jenny's has been blessed with a wonderful rental house that is, in my opinion, so very awesome! It sits on top of a hill with trees all over the place, and other houses scattered about the trees. Lots of snow is on the ground, but it really hasn't snowed much since we got here. However, tomorrow we are going to go to a parade in Colorado Springs called the Festival of Lights and we just saw the forecast - it may snow on us! So, that should be pretty interesting. We definitely have to bundle up because it is so very cold.
Oh, and today I had my first taste of Hungarian Goulash with home-made dumplings, beef cubes, gravy, bell peppers, and a few other vegetables. It was pretty yummy!
So, on to the next few days and when I get home, I'll post those pictures. :)
So yeah, there was a deal going on with Southwest Airlines - and on December 3rd I will be leaving to visit my very best friend in the world, Jenny, in Colorado. Yippie!!!
However, since I'm a Texas girl, I've since realized that I'm really not very prepared for the trip. :) Any and all suggestions will not be taken lightly by this "not used to cold weather" girl. So, please, please advise!
So far, I've realized that I need jammies. I do not have warm jammies. Well, at least none that fit me right now. So, I'm considering getting myself one of these (maybe not from this company, though - they don't have very many options in my size): Snug As A Bug. Actually, this is the one I really want: Sock Monkey! But, I'm waiting on a question to verify how the sizes run...the size I need is probably too tall. That's the problem I've run across at any place that sells these. They seem to think height and weight are proportional......um, no!
So ok, I need jammies. Then, I realized, I may not have enough sweaters. It's not usually necessary to wear many sweaters here in Texas, and even when I do need to be warm, a jacket usually works well outside and inside the heat is on, so I'm usually comfy. I think I may have enough sweaters, but I will have to be sure.
Other than that, I really don't know. I do have a pair of older boots...I'll have to try them on because I don't wear them very often. I'll have to talk to Jenny to make sure there's not something else essential I need, but I think that's just about it. I've always been a pretty light traveler....well, to me anyway! I can definitely travel light if I have to, so I just plan to bring 1 suitcase to check in, my CPAP machine in it's case (doesn't go against my 1 personal and 1 extra carry-on), my laptop (for my 1 extra) and then something else for my 1 personal that will fit my purse (that may be a challenge).
So yeah, I'm going to Colorado. I'm so excited!!!! Can't you tell? :)
Ok, so I decided to change up my blog layout - hopefully now it's a little more organized, and I also got rid of a few 'gadgets' that I had originally put up. Trying to just keep it simple and clean.
On top of organizing, I added a new link that I wanted to help promote - Amy's Handmade Creations- take a look and see if she has anything that you'd like made for your child or someone you know. I just bought a crayon roll from her for my niece for Christmas and I can't wait to give it to her! :)
Also, feel free to pass the word around - I know she'd appreciate it. :)
So, since being diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, it's been almost 3 weeks since I started using my CPAP machine and wow, although the progress is slow, I'm starting to see changes. It's really nice to be able to wake up in the morning and actually feel ready to conquer the day. Thankfully the mask isn't so loud as to disturb Chris - that's a big thing I was worried about, but even I can barely even hear a hum - and it's a little relaxing, in a way.
After the first few nights, that's the first thing that I noticed - my body is definitely feeling better on the inside, and my eyes aren't so sleepy in the morning.
Then, I started realizing that I haven't had to take naps. Sure, I've been tired enough to take a nap, but I haven't NEEDED to take a nap in order to function. Actually, I've only had 1 nap since the beginning of my CPAP therapy.
And this week, I've noticed that I've been dreaming.....A LOT! As in, I think every night. I didn't realize how few dreams I've actually been having over the years. I can't remember all of them, but at least I'm getting more of a deep sleep than I used to.
It's definitely an adventure and maybe I'm more eager than some, but I really was starting to feel at my wits end and I finally see a light at the end of my sleepy tunnel. :) I did have to go this morning to change out my mask - so let's hope that my 2nd mask is the perfect fit for me. I can always change it out within 30 days like my first one, and I can do this as many times as it takes to get a perfect fit. And, sometimes I really do feel silly. I mean, having this mask thing over your face all night really isn't the ideal way to sleep - but it gives me the help I need, so that's what I try to focus on. I think Chris is adjusting pretty well, too - though I know he misses me being able to really cuddle at night and I miss that, too - but I'm a lot less cranky when I have had the sleep that I need, so I hope that starts showing soon and that he feels it's worth it. :)
So.....here's to sleeping well!!!! :)
For anyone interested, this is a GREAT forum with really good information - I've learned a lot: American Sleep Apnea Association
Ok, so I've seen several blogs that use a different signature site than I've used in the past, so I just had to try it. I think I like my new sig - what do you think?
I read an online devotional at Girlfriends in God today that really made me think. The writer spoke of a book she had read by Eugene Peterson called Run with the Horses - The Quest for Life at Its Best. The author of that book told a story about the Prophet Jeremiah from Jeremiah Chapter 13. Below is the excerpt:
One day in the bazaar, he [Jeremiah] had bought a fine linen garment, the kind worn for a wedding ceremony or a religious festival. I always imagine Jeremiah making a production out of the purchase, spending most of the afternoon bargaining with the shopkeeper (not in itself an unusual practice in the Middle East) so that a lot of people would know of the purchase. The word would get around: “What is Jeremiah buying that fine linen garment for? What special event is coming up? What was he invited to that we weren’t?”
Then Jeremiah made a show of wadding up this beautiful piece of clothing and sticking it in a rock crevice to keep it safe until the time that he was going to wear it. Later he went back to retrieve it, as if to wear it for the special occasion. It was rotten, in tatters because of exposure to the elements and the insects.
The people got the message: Israel was the fine garment that God wanted to wear, but she wasn’t ready yet to be used for His purposes. She wanted to live an ordinary life first, so she wadded herself up and stuffed herself into the secure routines, separating herself from what God had at great cost purchased her for, but when that day comes, it will turn out that she is good for nothing. The beautiful moral life that she set aside for a more convenient day will turn out, when she picks it up, to be mildewed and moth-eaten. The writer then went on to add her name to the following part of the excerpt, which is what I feel hit my heart the hardest (I've added my name instead): "Kristin got the message. Kristin was the fine garment that God wanted to wear, but she wasn’t ready yet to be used for His purposes. Kristin wanted to live an ordinary life first, so she wadded herself up and stuffed herself into the secure routines, separating herself from what God had at great cost purchased her for."
How many times have I done this throughout my life? I'm almost 30 years old, and sometimes I feel like I'm only just beginning to truly understand what God wants to use me for. I was always very different and unique growing up, and I had a heart for God and for loving people. But I had things happen during that early part of my life that made me so tired of being different. At the end of high school, I told God that I was tired of being different. I asked Him to make me the same as everyone else....and to an extent, I got my wish. I believe that because of that, I probably missed out on a lot that God wanted for my life. He can take my life now and move forward with it, and I'm praying again that I want to be different, unique - I hope I never go back to wanting to live an ordinary life again. Despite the rough times of living life for God - it's ALWAYS worth it.
So yay! I was on vacation last week and Jenny and her family had come to Texas for a few weeks. I kinda planned my vacation around her because I love and miss her so much! :)
Anyway, I was there from Sunday until Wednesday and had such a good time. Her girls are so beautiful - Olivia (3 years old) is getting so big and Addison (now 9 months) has such a sweet countenance. Jenny is really such a great mom and, as her friend, I am so proud of her!!
When I first got there, both Olivia and Addison were shy, but it really didn't take too long before they both warmed up to me, so of course I was in heaven (I love little kids!).
The first day or so holding Addison off and on, I don't think she realized my glasses could leave my face. Once she realized, well, she yanked them off and seemed so proud of herself for doing it. :) So then I had to take them away from her (the sides are pointy when they're closed) and had to look at her with slightly blurred vision (my vision really has gotten worse since I've had to wear glasses for more than just reading).
Twice I had very cute wake-up calls. Once, probably around 8:30am, I all of a sudden hear "Kristin, it's morning time!". I open my eyes, and Olivia is on the other side of the bed just staring at me like, come on, it's time to get up! She then proceeded to tell me that her fingernails were painted as well as her toes, and without my glasses and right after waking up, I'm squinting my eyes to see her and trying so hard to participate in this conversation oh so early in the morning. I did indeed get up....about that early every day I was there. I don't envy Jenny those early morning wake up calls - but hopefully one day I'll be in her shoes. :)
My other wake-up call was from Pearl. Yep - it was too funny. I was on the very edge of the bed, facing out, and all of a sudden I hear this kinda bark/whimper something or other. I open my eyes, and Pearl is sitting smack in front of my face, waiting patiently. I closed my eyes, and she did it again. I open them again and she's just sitting there....not sure why she wanted me up. :) I closed my eyes one more time, and she did it a third time. It was hilarious! But, I honestly don't remember if I actually got up at that point or not. :) She's such a sweet dog, but she's big and apparently she thinks she's a lapdog - but again, I loved it - I love pets!
Jenny got a haircut and highlights as an early birthday present from her mom - I think the lady did a very good job and her hair is so cute!
We also went out to eat one night with Sunni, one of Jenny's high school friends who I originally met when Jenny got married. I'm waiting to steal pictures once Jenny posts them to her Facebook because I didn't take any pictures with my camera. :) We had a very nice time, though - Sunni is really good with kids and had no trouble listening to how Olivia had a little house "behind the couch" and participating in the imagination of it all. Yes, I want to be a teacher....but not for little kids. I love them, but I just don't quite know how to really connect with them. I'll have to learn fast when I finally get some of my own, huh? ;)
So anyway, I guess that was really it. I came home Wednesday and spent the next half of my vacation with my hubby and just relaxing. Then Saturday when it was time to get Angel from PetSmart, we got a call that she was finally adopted. After about 8 months or so of bringing her there, back and forth, we finally got a call. She's such a sweetheart and I really do miss her. I cried a little but I don't think I let it all out because later that night we missed out on our ABF's fireworks because I had such a bad headache. I'm glad that God finally brought someone to her and I pray that the transition they are now going through goes as well as possible. I know that Angel could make someone very happy, but I also hope she's a one-kitty household - she just doesn't really get along with our other cats very well, hence the problem in the first place. Plus, we want to have kids one day and well, we just had too many pets. It's a little more doable now with 2 cats and 1 sugar glider. But....I still miss my Angel.
Here's a picture of my Angel below:
When she was a kitten, she used to sit on my shoulder (haha):
So, that was my vacation week. A lot of happy, a little sad...and such is life.
So yeah, I'm sitting in my TASBO class last Friday, trying to stay awake because of the long day the day before and knowing Friday would be just as long, and trying to focus on the presenter discussing the topic for the class (which was purchasing). We took a break and I came back a little more refreshed. The first presenter talked a little longer, and then he switched with someone else. When that man went to the front of the class and started speaking, I got the biggest nudge I think I've had in a long time. I wasn't even close to thinking that I'd like to get my teaching certificate (though I had thought of it in the past) - then bam, all of a sudden I felt this urgent need to "just look into it".
Huh? Where did that come from? Well, my only conclusion since it didn't come from me, is that the big nudge was from God. Maybe that's stretching it for some of you, and maybe I'm almost doubting that a little myself, but I'm patient enough to want to see how this plays out. Hence, my quest to find out more about getting a teaching certification and more-than-likely applying within the month. I've thought about it, I've prayed about it, and now I'm really excited about it (if not very overwhelmed). There's a lot of information, but the great thing is that I work at Region 10 and so this journey should be a little more convenient (maybe).
I'm interested in Technology Applications. I have a Bachelor's degree in General Business, but if I've looked at everything correctly, I just need to take my content test in the area Technology Applications. However, I'm waiting on verification of that assumption. :) If I'm correct and that's one of my first steps, then I have a lot of studying to do in a topic that I feel like I know a lot about, but that's way, way bigger than what I do know. I like a challenge.
So the other thing I've thought of - would I even make a good teacher? I have 3 questions to contemplate for my application for the certification program at Region 10: (1) Why are you interested in teaching and what will be some of your initial challenges as a new teacher? (2) What motivates you to achieve goals and what will provide you the greatest satisfaction as a teacher? and (3) What else can you tell us about your current skills and abilities that will contribute to you becoming a highly effective teacher in your certification area? So yeah - I have a lot of thinking to do.
So, please pray for me as I begin this journey. I'm really still in the "just look into it" stage, but I'm 99.9% sure that I really want this now - then again, if something else comes of it, I'm still going to be patient. Maybe God is lining up something great in my life that will coincide with hubby getting a job in his field when he graduates.
Wow, how odd. I heard this song for the first time today, and it really did bring back memories. My Freshman year of college, to be exact. I don't remember if it was the first semester or the second semester, but I'd take a bet that it was the second semester.
To explain a little, I didn't realize how much of a "self image" problem I really had at that point in my life. I don't really know when it started, but my mamma started letting me wear makeup when I was in the 6th grade, at least. I don't think I wore it before that, but I can't remember. The 6th grade stands out to me because I remember one of my middle school ID's and wow, I looked so much older than I really was. After that, I guess I eased up on the makeup because I started looking more my age. So anyway, I just thought it was "normal" to wear makeup. Not that there's anything wrong with wearing makeup, please don't mistake this blabbering for me thinking it's wrong. But, I was a typical pre-teen and then went onto being a typical teenager who just expected that I always "had" to wear makeup. I guess it was like having your undies on - you just did it as a part of getting ready for the day.
Speed through to Freshman year of college. I don't remember what triggered it - that probably wasn't the important part. The important part is, I finally realized that I had a dependence on makeup. I realized that I did not feel pretty without it, that I wasn't complete without it, and God convicted me. I went cold-turkey. I just stopped wearing makeup - at all. It wasn't a protest, it wasn't because I thought makeup was bad - it was because I knew I had to get myself to realize that makeup didn't "Make Me". My beauty and my self-worth was in Jesus, and my individuality. Not makeup. The only way for me to realize that was to just stop wearing it and learn to be happy with me and the face that God blessed me with - I didn't come out of the womb with mascara, blush, and lipstick plastered to my face.
And you know what, it worked. I still don't usually wear makeup, and I've always had so many compliments on how pretty I am and how pretty my skin is. Makes me wonder how many other girls and women would realize the same thing if they took a "no makeup challenge" for a while. Now, sometimes I do get creative and feel the want to wear makeup - sometimes special occasions, sometimes just to be different that day. But it's a "want to"....rather than a "need to" that I felt for so many years.
Hope you enjoy the video - a reminder of where true beauty should come from:
Etymology: 15th Century, Middle English, from Medieval Latin transparent-, transparens, present participle of transparēre to show through, from Latin trans- + parēre to show oneself
1 a (1): having the property of transmitting light without appreciable scattering so that bodies lying beyond are seen clearly :pellucid (2): allowing the passage of a specified form of radiation (as X-rays or ultraviolet light)b: fine or sheer enough to be seen through :diaphanous
2 a: free from pretense or deceit :frankb: easily detected or seen through :obviousc: readily understoodd: characterized by visibility or accessibility of information especially concerning business practices
I want to be transparent. I want others to look at me and not have to guess what I stand for and who I am. And when others meet me and get to know me, I want them to see that I'm real, that I'm a person with emotions and that I'm not afraid to show those emotions. I want people to feel like they can trust me. I want them to know that I'm a good person with many flaws, but my life is about living for Jesus and living to be like Him, but that I will always fail and I may fail the people who choose to trust me. And I may fail with the same things over and over again, taking small steps to figure out how to get things right, and maybe never getting some things right at all.
I want to love.I want people to know that I love them. I want them to know that even if I don't understand, I will pray for them - when I remember to. I will do this even if I don't know them, too. I want them to know that I don't always remember to pray, but that I'm learning to be more consistent and that I want to be a prayer warrior again like I used to be in the past. I want them to know that if I can't help any other way, that I feel that praying for them is the strongest thing that I can do because I have a God who is stronger than anything else in this world, no matter what happens, no matter what we don't understand. I want people to know that I accept them - even if we have nothing in common, even if we can never be friends, I still accept them for who they are. And even if we don't believe in the same things, I will accept and respect them and hope that they have the same acceptance and respect for me in return.
I want to listen. I want to be a friend who is always there, even in the middle of the night. I want people to know that if they need me, please call. If I can't talk, I will tell you - but I will call you back. If I can talk, I will listen for hours if necessary, even if it deprives me of sleep for the next day.
I want these things and more. Will I ever truly be all of these things? Maybe, maybe not - but I want to strive for these things and I want others to teach me how I can be better at just being a transparent, loving, listening person. Don't ever be afraid to point out my weaknesses. Don't ever be afraid to critique how I live my life - whether you're wrong or right, I will listen. Whether I like it or not, I will accept your opinion and will try to remember to pray upon how Jesus would have me respond in my life. Whether or not I change, I want to hear it.
The first thing that came to mind was the reminder that God wants to take care of me to the point of taking me "under His wings" and remembering that I've honestly felt Him that closed to me before in my past, in a specific instance like He was really holding me. Then there goes the wandering. I believe in Angels. Angels are represented as having wings (but I have not researched this as fact). We are made in God's image, and we have no wings. But, God wants to "cover you with his feathers" and we can find refuge "under his wings" - therefore, does God have wings? For some reason, I find that fascinating. I've never really had a picture of what I think God looks like in my mind (of course I do have an image of what Jesus looks like, not specific like all the pictures portray, but based on where He was born), but I've also never imagined Him with wings. This thought, no matter if it's true or not because in the end, it doesn't matter what He looks like, but this thought just makes me see my God as so much more than I already saw Him as being. I don't imagine those wings as dainty things - I imagine them as strong and protective, especially according to Psalm 91:4. I imagine them as powerful and graceful. The picture above doesn't do justice what my mind has imagined - but it's the best image that I could find on the internet.
Wouldn't it be neat if Psalm 91:4 is truly literal? My God might really have wings! *smile*
Casting Crowns is one of my all-time favorite bands. Their music has such powerful meaning, and it's always so truthful and REAL. Any time I go through something in my life that seems unbearable, when the storm seems to never end and even get rougher, this song is always a big reminder of how big my God really is. Jesus never promised life would be easy, and trust me, I've had my fair share of hard times. But, He did promise to never leave us. He can give us strength to go on when we feel like we have none left, but only if we let Him.
Tonight I was doing my Bible Study, trying to catch up. I had to do 2 days worth because honestly, even though I've had two weeks to do 5 days of homework, I've only just started. The study is on the Psalms of Ascents, Psalms 120 through 134. I'm ashamed to say that I honestly didn't realize that part of Casting Crowns song Praise You in this Storm came from Psalm 121 - specifically verses 1-2. When I read those verses, a melody came to my mind and I knew that I'd heard a song with those exact words. So when I was done, I had to come research what song I'd been humming every time I read those verses. I've linked Casting Crowns' MySpace page to the title of this post - if you have time, go on and visit the page so you can hear the song. I found the lyrics below online:
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry to You and raised me up again my strength is almost gone how can I carry on if I can't find You and as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away
And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm
So how easy is it to praise Him in a storm that you're going through? For me, sometimes not very easy. But I know He's there. And I know He'll take care of me. Imagine - "the maker of heaven and earth". What does that really mean? It means He is the CREATOR - he created heaven and he created the earth. So why do I sometimes doubt that He's powerful enough to take care of little-old-me? 1 person on this planet in the midst of so many other people, yet He hears each and every one of us - but do we choose to hear Him? He's big enough, yes; but in the midst of things we don't understand, are we willing?
So, I'm sitting here watching the finale for American Idol. It's not American Idol that gets me going. It's the music. I don't care about the hoopla of who's going to win or who's more popular than who. I just love hearing those guys sing and I love music. It makes me wish I was more musically inclined than I am - yes, I can play piano, but only if I have sheet music in front of me and if I practice. I can't even sing while playing unless I'm also playing the melody. If I'm just playing the harmony, then I get lost. I'm sure if I practice, that would get better. I do have a song by Meredith Andrews called You Invite Me In that I need to work on. The piano music is only the harmony, and if I can just get my fingers to learn to play it without me thinking about it, then I'm sure I'll be able to sing while I play - and it's such a beautiful song.
I tried creating a song once, but I didn't get very far. I don't even know where it is anymore - probably somewhere stored away and one day when I'm old and gray I'll find it.
I don't know why music gets into my soul like it does. Maybe it has something to do with how much I used to write poetry. I've been out of that for such a long time - kind of a long-term writer's block I guess.
Music is also something that helps me feel closer to God. If there's praise music on, I could sing along with it all day and play it on the piano all night if I know it well enough. I loose myself in the words and the sound and I feel like I'm finally where I belong.
