Kristin got the message...

I read an online devotional at Girlfriends in God today that really made me think. The writer spoke of a book she had read by Eugene Peterson called Run with the Horses - The Quest for Life at Its Best. The author of that book told a story about the Prophet Jeremiah from Jeremiah Chapter 13. Below is the excerpt:

One day in the bazaar, he [Jeremiah] had bought a fine linen garment, the kind worn for a wedding ceremony or a religious festival. I always imagine Jeremiah making a production out of the purchase, spending most of the afternoon bargaining with the shopkeeper (not in itself an unusual practice in the Middle East) so that a lot of people would know of the purchase. The word would get around: “What is Jeremiah buying that fine linen garment for? What special event is coming up? What was he invited to that we weren’t?”

Then Jeremiah made a show of wadding up this beautiful piece of clothing and sticking it in a rock crevice to keep it safe until the time that he was going to wear it. Later he went back to retrieve it, as if to wear it for the special occasion. It was rotten, in tatters because of exposure to the elements and the insects.

The people got the message: Israel was the fine garment that God wanted to wear, but she wasn’t ready yet to be used for His purposes. She wanted to live an ordinary life first, so she wadded herself up and stuffed herself into the secure routines, separating herself from what God had at great cost purchased her for, but when that day comes, it will turn out that she is good for nothing. The beautiful moral life that she set aside for a more convenient day will turn out, when she picks it up, to be mildewed and moth-eaten.

The writer then went on to add her name to the following part of the excerpt, which is what I feel hit my heart the hardest (I've added my name instead):

"Kristin got the message. Kristin was the fine garment that God wanted to wear, but she wasn’t ready yet to be used for His purposes. Kristin wanted to live an ordinary life first, so she wadded herself up and stuffed herself into the secure routines, separating herself from what God had at great cost purchased her for."

How many times have I done this throughout my life? I'm almost 30 years old, and sometimes I feel like I'm only just beginning to truly understand what God wants to use me for. I was always very different and unique growing up, and I had a heart for God and for loving people. But I had things happen during that early part of my life that made me so tired of being different. At the end of high school, I told God that I was tired of being different. I asked Him to make me the same as everyone else....and to an extent, I got my wish. I believe that because of that, I probably missed out on a lot that God wanted for my life. He can take my life now and move forward with it, and I'm praying again that I want to be different, unique - I hope I never go back to wanting to live an ordinary life again. Despite the rough times of living life for God - it's ALWAYS worth it.

-Kristin Hope